I am surprised by the number of things I forgot about having a newborn in the house. Like . . .
I forgot the way a newborn smells. I find myself having a hard time putting Charlie down to rest some times because she smells so good. I just want to hold her and smell her head all day long.
I forgot how hard it is to do nothing. And by nothing I mean nothing but bonding with Charlie and hanging out with Addy. So, I am not doing nothing - but I am supposed to rest and do nothing as part of my recovery from my c-section. I don't do nothing well. It is hard for me and I get frustrated a lot. I also find myself getting down on myself for not contributing more. All silly I know, but its true. Really looking forward to the time when I don't have to assess everything I am doing to see if I can do it or not. And of course I don't always make the best decisions on what I should or shouldn't be doing . . . then I pay the price.
I forgot what it is like when you are changing a newborn and they decide to bless you with a special gift and go to the bathroom again, while you are changing her. Then you get to change all the clothes, the changing pad and clean yourself up too. When its the middle of the night and dark it is even more fun!
I forgot how many times on a 5 mile drive I will ask Scott to look back and tell me if baby is okay. Or I ask Addy to tell me - she does a great job because she'll go into great detail including showing me exactly the position of Charlie.
I forgot how hard it is for me to go back to sleep at night once I get up to feed the baby. I think of the most random things during that time. Like what needs to be cleaned out of the fridge and what I think Addy will do with her life when she grows up. Last night I was thinking about rides at DisneyWorld.
I forgot the funny faces they make. I can watch Charlie for hours. All the little stretches, eyebrow raises, wrinkled forehead moves. It is endless and so heartwarming.
I forgot how you can actually forget how to speak intelligently when you are tired. Charlie is pretty good at night, but once in a while we'll have a really tough night - like last night. Today I find that I can't put the right words together when I am trying to talk. :)
I forgot how small your world really becomes when you are in this early season. Most of our household conversation revolves around feeding, pooping and sleeping. All of a sudden our complex world has been reduced to the essentials. When I talk to people outside of the household I am surprised by the random issues they are dealing with. It is funny how quickly you get sucked into this baby world.
I forgot the amount of stuff. Changes of clothes, burp clothes, diapers, bottles, there is so much. Its coming back and I am remembering the way things worked best for us. But yesterday I was just laughing about the amount of stuff I was trying to organize. Stuff in the our bedroom for night time, stuff in the kitchen, in Charlie's room, stuff in the living room . . . oh don't forget the diaper bag. :)
Each of these moments has brought me joy - remembering our time with Addy when she was a newborn, sharing another new baby season with Scott, and getting to know my little Charlie girl. We are so lucky!
Today Addy, Grandma and I went out and collected fall leaves to make a fall craft project and Scott and Addy are now carving pumpkins. What I didn't forgot - because life is different this time - is how fun it is when you have an Addy Bear to share this season of life with. I was worried about how these two worlds would merge together - and honestly, I couldn't imagine how rich our lives are with these two lovely girls. :)
Tired or not, this is a good sesaon!
